"Trained " in Compassion

Someone asked me today if I thought I am a compassionate person. I thought briefly and answered honestly, "yes I believe I am." I couldn’t always answer that way, and certainly know I still have long ways to go. Yet I have definitely made progress. Another person once told that I was like a train going ninety-seven miles an hour downhill without brakes. As I recall, this person told me that as a result of their own experience with me, in a confrontative situation. That is a pretty good indication that I once failed the compassion test. However, how faithful is He who has called me. He has allowed me to go through some painful trials and it is through them that I am learning to have compassion. Each obstacle or painful trial in life is intended by Papa God, to produce another element of His character in me. I wish it was easier to understand this ahead of time. Maybe I wouldn’t buck so hard against what He was trying to produce in me. I am certain I have had to repeat tests on numerous occasions, rather than learning the first or second or even third time around. I can be so much like the children of Israel who wondered around and around in the desert for forty long years. I once gave Him permission to do whatever it took in me to make sure the character at least matched, but preferably exceeded the anointing in my life. I have discovered that He likes those kinds of prayers and fully intends to answer them. I, however, had no idea what I was praying in a moment of intimacy with my Savior. Yet the fruit is coming forth and my heart is grateful that compassion is one that I can claim is becoming more and more evident. I am certain my friends and family are grateful. I want to be moved with compassion, so that others can experience a touch from the Lord that will minister His pure love to them. After all, who in their right mind would want to receive from one who approaches them as a train out of control?

My Honor and Glory Come from You, Lord

What a difference a day can bring! The voices that spewed forth condemnation yesterday are all but silent today. Today my heart is moved with compassion for so many I love and care for and prayer comes easily. I wish everyday was like that, but the truth is, it is not. I struggle many days wondering if I can even pray because after all, am I really praying as I ought. It comes down to too much dependence on me and not enough on Him. I pray that He works that holy confidence in me to make me secure and certain that He really is able to use this ordinary vessel to accomplish greatness for Him. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, has mattered to me for as long as I can remember. When I was a child, I dreamed of being a singer for Jesus. I would practice with my Tickle deodorant bottles, which had a big colorful dome as the lid and made a great microphone. I would sing “Somewhere over the Rainbow.” My dreams were big, but as the pain and rejection of life ensued, I found my dreams faded far into the background. Hardship characterized my life and gradually I came to believe that dreams coming true were reserved for fairy tales or a few elect individuals, of which I was not one. I no longer believe this is true. My heart hopes in these dreams. I know why the Bible says, without a vision my people perish. I can’t imagine living in such a time, without a solid understanding; I am not here by accident. I couldn’t go on another day in this life without the absolute certainty that I am here for a reason, not just to exist or go through the motions. Life is just too hard for that. Instead of a shallow existence, I have been placed here for something great and you know what the really cool thing is; so have you!